i just made my gag reflex go away.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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