So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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