All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
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