I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
