so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
