I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
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