One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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