Only a mothe r could love this liver
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
