apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
