I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize