trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
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