Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
