even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
