you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
