I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
