Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
