I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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