Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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