yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
