Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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