I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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