On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
