Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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