I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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