I want to walk on stilts...naked
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
