my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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