I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize