I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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