Don't make out with my wife yet
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
