but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
He is an equal opportunity slut.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize