is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
