the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
