How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
