He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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