OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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