Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
