Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
