Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
