just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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