Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
