talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Randomize
