he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
