I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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