You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
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