i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
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