She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
