so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
