just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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