Christians are straight up FREAKS
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
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