He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
