I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Randomize
