trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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