So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Randomize
