she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I just made out with a guy for $7.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
