Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
