you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
