I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
