yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
