you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
