Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
