Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize