But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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