Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
