can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize