dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
