The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
