I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
