mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
