That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize