im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
