why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
