what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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