Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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