he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize